Do You Trust Yourself? Decision making as a Highly Sensitive Person

 Trusting Yourself As A Decision Maker

I'm continuing to learn about myself everyday. How about you?

Hello everyone! Today's post begins with a question to ponder. 

Namely, do you trust yourself? 

Specifically, do you trust yourself as a decision maker?

Maybe this seems like an odd question. And maybe being a decision maker comes naturally to you and never gives you any second thoughts. If so, I am really happy for you. 

But, for me...this is not the case. Making decisions has always been hard for me. I tend to ruminate over my decisions, second guess myself and go back and forth. I can see many sides to each choice and basically.....I can drive myself crazy while making a decision. And even once the decision is made, I can re-think and wonder to myself....Did I make the right decision??

Can you relate?

This whole post came about when I was recently trying to make a decision about something that should have been relatively simple. It wasn't a life and death choice but rather something about a weekly routine that I had previously enjoyed but had gotten away from and I was pondering if I should return to that weekly routine or not. Simple decision, right?

Except, if you're me......sigh.

In doing research on decision making for this post, I learned about people who are called Highly Sensitive People (HSP's) who tend to have trouble making decisions and tend to ruminate and consider all aspects of a situation many times over before making a decision. I have to admit that this sounds a lot like me! However, I also learned that, once a decision is made, HSP's tend to have a higher rate of making a correct decision. If I am, indeed, an HSP then this is reassuring news!

I have known for years that I am an introvert and have learned so much about the characteristics of introversion because of reading I had done online at a site I frequent named, Introvert,Dear. If you, too, suspect that you are an introvert and/or an HSP, then this is a great site for you to explore!

Have you heard of the term "Highly Sensitive People" before? HSP's are folks who tend to also be introverts (although some HSP's are extroverts) and who have the following four main traits (according to the Simple Practice site):

HSP's process thoughts and emotions deeply, become overstimulated by situations easily, show increased emotional responsiveness and empathy for others and experience sensitivity to subtle details and stimuli. 

According to Elaine Aron, PhD., in an article from Psychology Today, HSP's can have "decision trauma" due to having difficulty accepting that the decision they make could be the wrong one. It is actually painful for the HSP if they make a wrong decision. This may seem simple to many people....realizing that there are always two choices in a decision and one could be the right choice and one could be the wrong choice. But for an HSP, having the mindset that choosing the wrong choice could happen is especially problematic. And, Aron goes on to say, that sometimes the choice is between two things that we really want. And, I think that this was the case with me trying to make my recent decision. 

I really wanted to do both choices, which was an impossibility. Hence, the dilemma.

Aron discusses that it's important to accept the fact that the decision one chooses could be the wrong choice. But, you know, it could also be the right choice as well. And, the only way to find out is to go with the choice and see. Writing down the pros and cons of each choice can be a helpful exercise in decision making. And also, as Aron states, having an exit plan can also be helpful. In other words, if the decision you make turns out to be the wrong one for you, then what can you do to make a change to a different choice?

For me, as I have pondered my own indecision recently, I have found that a question keeps popping up in my head...

Do I trust myself to make decisions that are the right choices for me?

Interesting point, right? In some of the reading that I have done on this topic, I have learned that, again, many HSP's have a tendency to doubt themselves. Especially, when it comes to decision making. 

Can you relate?

But, here's the thing; if we can't trust our own self...then who can we trust? Who else knows us as well as we know ourselves? (Except for God, of course. He definitely knows us). 

James 1:5 says,  "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Some decisions are bigger than others. My recent decision about a weekly routine doesn't compare to life altering decisions like moving, marriage, or a new job. 

However, all of our decisions, big or small, are important to God. So, going to Him in prayer about all of our decisions is important, in my opinion. 

So, for me, praying about the decisions I make and listening for that still small voice of God is important. And, in addition, it's important that I need to trust myself, and my inner intuition, about what is best for me. And to also realize, that a choice that goes wrong does not mean that all is lost. Most choices can be adapted, revised, reworked and other choices made. 

So, how about you? How do you cope with decision making in your life? Do you think you are an introvert? Or an HSP? Do you pray about decisions? And most of all...

Do you trust yourself?

Hope you will share in the comments.

Until Next Time,

Debbie This and That