Thoughts On Becoming A "Dear"

 Oh Dear, I've Become A "Dear"

Starting to feel like Fall with Fall colors!

Hello friends!  So, there is something that I've been noticing recently as I have been out and about going here and there. It may have happened a few times before I began to notice too much. But now, since it has happened fairly frequently, I am starting to take notice. 

Maybe, it's happened to you as well. Surely, it can't be just happening to me, can it?!

And here it is.....I have become a "dear."

What is that you say?

It's where women of a "certain age" start to be called "dear" by virtual strangers. People who wait on them in stores, or who open doors for them into restaurants feel like they should address said women by using the moniker of "dear." As in, "Here you go dear, I'll get that door for you."

Now, I realize that there are far worse names that I could be called. And, also, I realize that there are some women who probably don't mind being called "dear." 

And, it's not that I hate being called "dear."

But, I kind of feel the same way I felt when I was in my young twenties and men who I did not know would call me "honey." 

It felt a bit offensive to me to be called "honey" by a stranger when I felt like only The Mr. had the right to call me that. 

You know what I mean?

Now, if people were to address me by calling me "ma'am" that would be okay with me. But somehow, calling me "dear" feels a little bit like they think I'm a doddering fool who can't get a door open without help. 

And I'm not.....doddering that is....and hopefully not a fool either. 

I do appreciate the courtesy of someone opening a door for me. That shows respect and helpfulness. Calling me dear? Not so helpful or respectful in my opinion.

Now, I'm sure no one is doing this to be mean spirited. Just like I'm certain that when men called me "honey" years ago they weren't trying to be mean spirited. But, I do feel like I was kind of being put in my place. And taken advantage of. As in, "Honey, I know you know nothing about cars so I'm going to take advantage of you by overcharging you what you should be charged for this car repair."

And, yes, that really did happen when I took my car in for repairs. Calling me "honey" was actually a sign of disrespect disguised as respect.

Now, is calling me "dear" at my age disrespectful?  No, not really. But, I would feel better about being called "dear" if it were a family member using the term. Just someone on the street calling me that? No, I don't care for that so much.

It probably doesn't help that, in my opinion, being called "dear" means that the other person is in full recognition of the fact that I am "of a certain age." And here's the thing; I already know that I am "of a certain age." I prefer not to be reminded of it too often by other people since my knees, back and joints typically remind me of it several times throughout the day. 

You know what I mean?

So, what is your opinion of being called "dear" by others?  Do you like it? Dislike it? Could care less? Wondering why on earth Debbie decided to write a blog post on the subject?

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts in the comments section. You know that I love to hear from all of my dear readers.......uh, oh...oh yeah.   Oh dear!

Until Next Time,

Debbie This and That