Coming To Terms
*I am not a member of the medical field or a fitness trainer. My writing, opinions and exercise routines are my own and are not to be construed as advice for others.
|Don' t I Look Athletic?!|
Today, I'm talking about my life-long battle with trying to exercise. If you are a die-hard exerciser who runs, goes to the gym regularly or can't understand why I would be writing a post about my exercise difficulties, then you may want to move on to another blog today. I'm not being rude. It's just that I've kinda had it with trying to live up to the world's fitness expectations and today I'm going to tell my side of the story. So here goes...
|Hiking Down To The River|
My love-hate relationship with exercise began in gym class in elementary school. To be honest, prior to elementary school, I loved playing outside and had no problem running around having fun, playing badminton and volleyball with my sisters and using my imagination with outdoor play. But, then came gym class, and my whole image of what exercise meant changed. Suddenly, I discovered that I wasn't "good" at gym. I couldn't run fast enough, jump the hurdles (they scared me to death as I knew I would trip over them and fall) or climb the ropes. I hated tumbling and was scared to put my head down and roll forward on the mat. I figured I might break my neck if I didn't make it all the way over. I was one of those "last choice" kids picked for team sports and was even called a "scaredy cat" by a gym teacher once because I wouldn't straddle the monkey bars and swing myself around like a propeller. (I ask you?!) All of these experiences only served to reinforce the idea I formed in my mind that I wasn't athletic. Gym day at school began to be my least favorite day and I could actually make myself sick worrying about what I would have to do that day in class. My poor mother and oldest sister tried to help me at home by running in the yard with me and even holding broomsticks up in our hallway for me to jump over. Sometimes, I got my courage together and jumped and other times I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And I always came away from these experiences feeling like a failure with exercise.
|Walking Around Bear Lake|
Somehow, I made it through my public school years of gym classes, graduated from High School and moved on to college. Great, I thought. No more gym classes to deal with now! Au contraire! I arrived at college in the late seventies, just when running as a sport was getting popular. All Freshman had to complete a running course for a gym credit and we were informed by the coach that our "goal" was to run a four minute mile by the end of the course. What?! I had never been a runner, didn't even own a decent pair of running shoes and now I was supposed to be able to run a four minute mile by the end of the semester? What planet did this professor/coach come from anyway? But, being the dutiful, perfectionist student that I have always been I actually bought into this crap and diligently tried to run. We had to keep track of our minutes spent running and turn them in as part of our grade. Well, long story short, I ended up with a really bad shin splint from doing all this running in the wrong kind of shoes. I'll never forget going to the school's health center and explaining to the nurse how my injury felt. She gave me a bit of wisdom that I have never forgotten when she said, "Not everybody is cut out for this type of exercise." Gee...you think?! But, at the time I was too young and naive to really internalize this truth. So, I just assumed, once again, that I was a big failure when it came to exercise. And, no, Debbie didn't run the four minute mile by the end of the course!
|A Short Walk At The Golf Course|
You might think that after graduating from college I could put all of this angst about exercise aside. After all, I was an adult now and could pretty much make my own exercise choices, right? Well....yes and no. You see, I fell in love with a guy who was (and is) handsome and loving and a hard worker and......a runner and hiker extraordinaire! The first date we went on, he spent most of the evening talking about his plans to hike the entire Appalachian Trail. He waxed poetic about trail info and maps and shelters he would stay in. I wondered if he realized the AT was, ummm, 2,200 miles long and would take him five months to hike? (Which he did understand since he did hike the entire trail from March-August of 1980!) Well, if I was gonna marry this guy I probably needed to be able to hike, right? I tried to like these loooong hikes, I really did, but I would get so tired! If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "our destination is just around the next corner" I would be a very rich woman, indeed! But, I valiantly tried to keep up with him and even joined the local hiking club with him when we first moved to Asheville. And there, just like in gym class in school, I always brought up the rear. I can remember the hiking club "sweep" always hanging back making sure that I was still with the group. To my husband's credit, he tried to match my pace, but it soon became apparent that the hiking club was not for me.
|Sitting And Taking In The Scenery|
And so the years passed and I kept trying to find my exercise "niche." Jazzercise was really popular in the 90's and lots of my friends were taking the classes so I decided to give that a try. And I did like the dance part. But, it was always followed up by floor exercises. The whole thing last about an hour and a half and I was so exhausted by the time I got home that I ended up spending the rest of the evening on the sofa recuperating. Same with yoga class, which was supposed to relax and rejuvenate me. I kept hearing about how people would feel so "energized" after exercising. But, for me, these classes just wore me out. And, I was already exhausted after a day of teaching!
|Thumbs Up For Short Hikes!|
So, now I'm retired. And I figured that, finally, with all the job stress behind me, I would finally be able to find my exercise groove. Surely, each day of retirement would find me spending time in some type of fulfilling exercise adventure. Gym classes are all behind me now. I can do this. I am athletic. Now it's Debbie time, right? Well...... sort of.
|Early Morning at Bear Lake RMNP|
You know how lots of people swear that yoga helps them with their back aches? Well....I may be the only person around who gets a back ache from doing yoga....in a beginners class....yeah, my back hurts. It's that failure thing again. And I think I'm done with yoga class.
|With My Love at Alluvial Falls RMNP|
So, I'm coming to terms. It's time to face the facts. And, I'm finding it's not such a terrible thing to admit at all. You see, I'm not athletic. And that's OK. Who cares? My husband still loves me and I still love him. (Even though he still thinks that hikes shouldn't be less than two hours!) But, we have adjusted over the years. He goes on long hikes by himself and we go on walks together. Or shorter hikes. Mostly level. That's the way I like them. My husband calls them,"Debbie approved hikes." Our friends have even started using that phrase! I've also discovered some things about exercise since I retired that work for me. For instance, I like 20 minute walks. I really do feel energized after a 20 minute walk in a way that I wouldn't feel if it turned into an hour long walk. And I really do like my little exercise routine that I do that takes me 5-10 minutes. And I guess I'll just have to live without rock hard abs and a butt that looks like I'm 20. I'm willing to sacrifice that!
In all seriousness, though, I'm just tired of trying to be something that I'm really not. I think back often to what that college nurse said, "Not everyone is cut out for this type of exercise." I believe she was absolutely correct. I think back to my pre-elementary school days when I took great joy in just being outside, using my imagination and enjoying play. Somehow all of that got ruined and forgotten when I was "socialized" at school into society's idea of what doing exercise meant. I enjoy being in the great outdoors just sitting and watching nature, going for shorter walks and hikes, walking around lakes and doing gentle movement and stretches in short time amounts. And you know what? That's OK. It's OK that I'm not athletic. It's OK that I prefer reading over running, writing over sports and blogging over yoga. I've decided that being a fit fifty-something involves fitness in more ways than just physical. And for that realization, I am very grateful. Better late than never, right? And, hey....do you want to be on my team?
Until Next Time,